DOUBTING THOMAS

I watched a man
chase an octopus around
and make weak declarations
about how his life was changing
because of it. I’m sorry.
I just do not believe
this man. I love octopuses.
I agree there is much
we can learn from them.
They are more intelligent
than most people I’ve met.
What I do not love is men
who think they are important
enough to make a documentary
about absolute nonsense.
When the credits started
rolling I thought, oh, this
man is such a ridiculous liar.
It’s the same type of doubt
I have when people talk
about the moon landing.
Why do we believe
these things just because
distant strangers say to?
I want to talk to Neil Armstrong.
I want the proof.
And I want this octopus man
to prove he was following
the same mollusk for as long
as he claims. I know the animal
is dead now, but I need
something. I am so tired
of being so scammed.
It would be much easier
if there were wounds
I could shove my hands into.
That’d be proof enough.

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Colin Drohan is from Chicago. He is the archives editor for jubilat and the assistant director of writing programs at Catapult. He lives in western Massachusetts.