TWO POEMS
Inconceivable
My life’s gonna end and my mum’s not even gonna fucking know?
Not to be controversial but this is why
they invented God. I cried about it for the first time
at five years old—the cosmic joke—that the longer you live,
the more you watch all your friends and family die. And if
we make it to old age we don’t end our lives with
the family we started. I’m going to die among strangers
who were not there when I was born.
I want my mama to be with me every second of my life.
I know—you should bury your parents not
the other way round, but I don’t know how
it’s possible to live with the pain, the want for a parent.
Thinking about my dad not being able to hear my last words
makes me fall to my knees.
What do you mean I won’t be able to call her
to pick me up while I’m dying?
I like to think she'll come collect me
like she used to after school, just waiting for me
on the other side. She brought me into this world, and
she can take me out of it. She promised. I need her
to run her hands through my hair as I go.
–
Rented Life
So many now-strangers in my life
In this too-big world of ours, I hope
someone misses me the way I miss
so many. I hope the people I remember
remember me. I think I worry more
than I hope for this. Hell, I’m busted
with this vain melancholy.
All the dead seem to know where I am.
I loved them. I still do. Serene to think
they've been and will always be part of us.
You are a missable, loveable person. You
don't feel this deep to not be thought of —
I’d like to buy you a drink, my friend, and
drink to the ones forgotten and remembered.
There is always a last time for everything.
Last time I walked this bridge I was high.
I’m both the same but not, and this makes me
nostalgic for a life I have not lived. Strange
little moments. Odd little lives. I wonder if
she winces when she hears my name too.
Meg Curran is a Georgia-born writer currently based in Norway. Her poetry has appeared in or is forthcoming from BULLSHIT, JAKE, In Parentheses, and The Basilisk Tree among others. You can find her at meg-curran.com.
